Joe and Carri’s Action Step for the past week was to share with each other what had been hard about the separation. I realized it was only in our sessions that they were discovering the other was also hurting, lonely and sad, so I asked if it would be helpful for them to continue the conversation privately. Although Carri was nervous she thought it could be helpful so we talked a little about how she could muster the courage and express herself as she desired.
The next week I got a great report! Of course, there were still many issues to work out but step by step they were embarking on the process.
As time went on we talked about their family dynamics, the inequality of responsibilities and the wall of resentment they’d built. It took a little time, but fairly quickly they realized that most of their issues had grown into insurmountable mountains because they’d failed to take the time to openly and honestly work through things.
Business, with work and children, coupled with fear of conversations that might stir up conflict contributed to their communication breakdown. Carri was realizing the importance of staying in the game, facing conflicts and working through them. She was diligently exploring all kinds of self help and was working hard to acquire better communication skills.
Joe wanted a plan sooo badly! Although he could be the more spontaneous of the two, he NEEDED to know how long he was going to have to reunite with his wife. She was not ready to end the separation. But she was ready, or so she thought, to start dreaming with Joe. It sounded like a great idea, so I asked if they’d like to make it their Action Step for the coming week. We all thought they’d have another great week. – ha!