Testimonials About Groups
With just three weeks under our belt we’re already getting great testimonials!
From the Midwest to the South to the North West . . .
Just a few of the Comments & Questions we’ve heard so far:
( Wondering what groups I’m talking about? The Coaching For Wholly Living Winter Summit 2015 groups:
1 . CATAPULT! – How To Leverage Your Unique Wiring to Land Your Dream Job
2. PARENT LIKE A PRO!– Successful Strategies For Families to Thrive
3. BIOHACK! Your Health Naturally)
Comments
“It was a great first call! I’m really looking forward to next week.” – TX
“That was just my speed. I’m learning a lot… and I thought I knew a lot!” – MT
“That call was fantastic too!” (she signed up for multiple groups) – TX
“Thanks for sharing this. It was a great read” -(per a pdf shared by the group leader) – WA
Great call!!!! Really really really fabulous!!! -TX
“I really enjoyed listening to you as you asked questions to the young mother. You did a great job of making her answer her own questions and take ownership for them. I learned a lot from “watching you in action” that I can apply as I help others. Also, I was able to take my own question and think of it differently and analyze what change I need to make and think through the steps that must happen to reach my own goal. You have a gift with a compassionate yet direct approach. I was impressed with your style.” -TN
Questions
Each group has it’s own private Face Book group where particpants can ask questions. We post a recording with answers so they can listen and get their answers at their convenience.
Here are some of the questions rolling in from our BIOHACK Your Health Naturally! group.
“What’s the difference between a neuropath and a functional medicine provider/healthcare practitioner?”
“Can you address sweating, the benefits? Why some people sweat during sleep and is that good? Normal? Preferred?”
“My question is whether or not the maltodextrin in Monk Fruit in the Raw (it’s also in the Stevia I use) is bad. What is Wakely’s take on Monk Fruit in general. I personally LOVE it.”
“You asked the question “Do you remember your dreams?” What is the correct answer?”
Be on the LOOKOUT
for the announcement of the
Spring Summit groups.
Feel Like a Loser?
Do you feel like a loser because you don’t have lofty goals? Maybe you’re still a kid or maybe you’re 35, 40 or 65 and you still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up?
I want to assure you that although it seems like everyone else is “dreaming big” – they aren’t! My coaching experience testifies to that fact. People often come because they want to dream big. Sadly, most folks live life wishing they had something wonderfully fulfilling to be passionate about. Something that would utilize all of the potential within them.
When clients come for this purpose, we usually talk about things they are good at and things they enjoy and then do some brain storming. It’s fun and they usually learn a lot about themselves. After exploring things, I usually ask the question, “If you were going to volunteer somewhere, what would you like to do?” Somehow the simple question moves people away from being self focussed and in turn brings about a revelation of how they want their life to be fulfilling.
The fact is most of us could do quite a number of different things, do them well and find some satisfaction in them, yet it seems that there is some correlation to giving of ones self and finding passion and fulfillment.
If you’re struggling, think about what it is you would love to do as a volunteer. If it is not something you can actually do (like becoming a firefighter at 65yrs of age), think about what it is that makes it appealing and then broaden your thinking. Regardless of what you come up with, just knowing what you want to do and working toward that goal is incredibly satisfying
Some may find fulfillment in actually volunteering while others, with this new found passion, may choose to pursue it as career. The great thing is, you won’t ever have to wish you had something to be passionate about again!
Is Your Shadow Haunting You?
When the sun is shining on you your shadow falls behind you so it generally goes unnoticed. Occasionally if you look to the side you may catch a glimpse of it in your peripheral vision but rarely do you wring your head around and stare at it, yet it follows you wherever you go.
When we are headed in the direction we desire it feels good, like a warm sunshiny day. The path is graced with things that make our heart smile and we are excited to reach our destination. We are energized, our thoughts are clear and we are not distracted by our shadow. It is always with us but it has no power to hold us back or cause us to second guess the direction we’ve chosen.
Most children go through a phase where they are fascinated with their shadow. Some kiddos try to jump into it, others try desperately to grab hold of it and some try to run away from it. So it is in life. Our past is like our shadow – it will always be there following us. We cannot jump back into it for a re-do, we can’t hold onto it trying to keep it alive, nor can we run away from it. It is just there. Our life resembles it’s shape, but it has no power. Like a child who obsesses over their shadow, many of us obsess over our past yet we can’t move forward until we stop looking back. It serves us well to acknowledge it’s existence so that when we catch a glimpse of it in our peripheral vision it doesn’t scare us – we just laugh at ourselves when we realize our shadow scared us for a second!
The difficult thing about the shadow stories of our past is that they create beliefs, many of which are subconscious beliefs. These beliefs are often warped by our unpleasant experiences. It may be easy to let go of our past but it is far more difficult to change the belief it created. We often don’t realize where the belief came from. As a coach, I do not work with people analyzing the past. It can take years of psychotherapy and in some cases people have unknowingly created false memories in an effort to understand themselves. In coaching we let the past be what it is – over.
Thank God we have the choice to change the shape of our shadow! Every day we create a little piece of history that will follow us the rest of our lives. While altering our hairstyle or losing/gaining weight can make our physical shadow drastically different, every choice we make in life has the potential for creating new beliefs.
Pondering who we are and what we believe can be empowering because subconscious beliefs rise to the surface. By noting what they are, we have the power to embrace or denounce them. (This is where coaching can be helpful.)
What are your shadow stories and what beliefs have they created that hinder you? Do you identify with any of these?
Common Shadow Stories and the Beliefs They Can Perpetuate
*Shadow Story: I thought I had a happy family but my parents divorced as soon as I moved out. Belief: People just pretend to be happily married.
* Shadow Story: “I was brought up in a poor family and saw my rich relatives act condescendingly toward my parents.” Subconscious Belief: “Wealth makes people arrogant snobs so I want nothing to do with rich people and I certainly don’t wan’t to be one.”
* Shadow Story – “My mom had an affair shortly after she lost 40lbs.” Subconscious Belief – “My husband loves me just the way I am. If I lost weight I would be attractive to other men and could be tempted to have an affair.”
Shadow Story – “My dad owned and operated a thriving business and mom stayed at home.” Belief: “I can’t go back to work because my husband would have to pick up the slack at home and I want his career to thrive. Plus, my kids need me at home. It’s for the best – no one knows I hate every minute of being a housewife.”
* Shadow Story – My grandmother raised me, and had a career while my grandpa and mom did nothing. Mom and grandpa drank too much but they never worried about much either. Grandma was always stressed out and angry. Belief – I don’t want to be stressed out all the time so if I do have to work it’s going to be an easy job – not a full blown career.
*Shadow Story – My parents had great careers but spoke negatively about people who were more successful than they. Belief – I can’t be more successful than my parents or I’ll lose their approval.
You may not identify with any of these Shadow Stories, or, maybe you do, but your belief is different. The point is we all have a past that has shaped us and we have adopted beliefs that do not serve us well.
Realizing that my choices today will tomorrow be the history that shapes me help me put a better perspective on today. As adults our circumstances are largely determined by our choices and/or our response to uncontrollable circumstances. We get to choose what we believe.
Thinking about how we think if overdone makes us crazy! However, it is extremely helpful to recognize the lies we believe so that we can retrain our brains with truth, putting our past behind us like our shadow on a sunshiny day.
What’s It Going To Take To Get What You Want?
So much work to look like I do!
She said she was getting gas earlier that morning and a complete stranger, pumping gas next to her, looked over and said, “I hate you skinny girls!” Jessie, my hair stylist said, “I don’t know what got into me, but I actually responded. I said, “well if you were at the gym at 5:30 every morning you could look like this too””. To her surprise the lady said, “yeah, you’re right.”
Do you ever feel jealous of people who have what you want? But then you think about what it would take to get it and you feel defeated before you even begin?
Often people become so focused on the outcome that they forget about the purpose. Dreams and goals can seem overwhelming when we get zeroed in on the outcome and if we think there is only one outcome that can fulfill us we may feel trapped – and when we’re trapped, we can’t move.
Try writing down what you want from the dream or goal. If it’s ‘to be skinny’ what do you really want? If you want to be healthier so you can extend your life expectancy and enjoy a more adventuresome lifestyle with your kids, then joining a gym might not be the only way to get skinny. Maybe joining a beginning hiking group or taking a course in kayaking – these options get you exercise and move you into adventures that you will soon be sharing with your children! Sometimes we get defeated because we feel like there is only one way and we don’t like the journey so we feel trapped.
If your dream is to own your own restaurant, the payoff you want may be to have a schedule that you control and get paid to cook healthy meals. What if you find out that the zoning for your dream restaurant isn’t right and it’s a 7 year process to get re-zoning, or your financing falls through or ….. Sometimes pushing through the obstacles is the work we want to do, but sometimes there are other opportunities that will get us everything we want. For instance, you may find much less stress in owning a catering company or a healthy food stand in the middle of the city or you might find out about a franchise with great financing options. Zeroing in on having to have an independent restaurant is fine if that is the only way to find the fulfillment you desire, but often that narrow minded path hinders rather than helps.
Determining what you really want (the deeper purpose or payoff) from the dream or goal is really the first step in moving toward it. If you’ve had one that has been on a back burner, I hope you’ll take time to write down the purpose, or payoff you’re looking for. It just may set you free if you’ve been trapped. It may look a little different than you first imagined, but the payoff may be even better!