Category: Growth

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The Downside of Coaching With ME

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The downside of coaching with me has an upside for you. Regardless of the reason you come to coaching, my intent is to help you move into the new phase of life that you are desiring.

The upside for you is that life coaching is not a life time sentence. 

Every client is different, but most reach their goals in less than a year, some in just a few months. Because my clients achieve what they come for, I have a constant turnover of clients.

Although I do have several clients whom I’ve been privileged to coach for years, my goal is for you to reach your goals! These ongoing folks are unusual in that they are on a mission to be constantly growing and enjoy the support I provide. I must say, the personal transformation they have seen has been astounding to me and everyone they know and love.

The downside for me…… the initial intake, paper work and billing are not the pieces I love the most yet because my clients are successful and move on, I am in that zone often. Fortunately the joy and purpose I find in the work of coaching offsets the downside and makes it all worthwhile.

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What’s Your Perfectionism Prohibiting?

Dr. Brene Brown says perfectionism is a
“way of thinking that seeks to avoid shame, blame and judgement.”

Determining the difference between being a perfectionist and the pure desire for excellence has been a gray and blurry line for me. Isn’t it noble that there are things I have not done at all or have put off until I could “give it more time” because I didn’t want to do it half heartedly! I remember my Sunday school teacher saying  “if a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing well,” yet, most good things, taken to the extreme, can become a bad things.For me, that good idea crossed the line and  became a bad thing because it kept me from doing things -things I would have enjoyed learning and pursuing. But I didn’t. Because I knew it would take a lot of time and effort to become an expert. What I know now that I didn’t know then is that being an “expert” is as much a mindset as it is knowing the material! haha – I could get on a soapbox here but I will refrain. 🙂

Why not just do some things for pure enjoyment? Oh noooo….. that would be setting myself up for criticism. As Dr. Brene Brown says perfectionism is a “way of thinking that seeks to avoid shame, blame and judgement.”

I’d like to be able to disagree with Dr. Brown. I prefer to think I was a skilled at preserving the confidence I did have – not a perfectionist! But reality says that a perfectionist seeks to avoid criticism therefore, if they can’t do what it takes to do something perfectly or at least very well, they don’t do it at all.

My first Life Coach, Laurie Hardie, jolted me out of my comfort zone and I’ve never been the same. She encouraged me to do things that were risky but so much fun! Since then, I’ve realized that it’s ok to do things just for fun. If I let people know that I’m just doing something for fun it puts me at ease. My expectations for myself change.  I simply expect to have fun.

Please don’t get me wrong, hard work, discipline and life long learning are highly valuable to our well being, but we can’t be experts at everything, so why not let perfection go and enjoy life? It’s a lot more fun!

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Words Can Hurt But You Are Stronger #2

strong-armI ended my last post by saying, “Understanding the power I have to control which words I allow to affect me has been intriguing, freeing and empowering, both in the spiritual sense and in the physical sense.”  Oh to be free from the power of unkind words!  The great news is that once we deeply desire and long to rise above their power – we can!”

Living in the power of the Spirit means different things to different people.  To many the greatest power the Spirit offers is the expectation of the miraculous. I am not at all discounting this, however, if we fail to aknowleget the power of the Spirit in our daily lives we’ve missed out in a big way!  “Peace I leave with you.”  This is a gift!  A gift to be used and appreciated daily. Speaking of miraculous…. to actually receive that gift – a life of peace – would it not be miraculous for most of us? Sadly most refuse to accept it, choosing to dwell more often on Words That Hurt than on words with healing power. Yes, it takes effort. Nurturing and developing our gifts does take effort. . . I’m thinking about the really cool iPad accessories I got at Christmas that I opened, but have failed to learn how to use (sorry guys.) Funny thing is, they would be useful and appreciated if I put in the effort to learn how to use them.  

So we’ve been given this gift – peace.  Do we make use of it, appreciating what it can do for us? Or do we allow hurtful words that were said once to replay in our minds and hurt us a million times?

In the physical realm, I love the study of the brain.  Dr. Daniel Amen has  has proven that “negative thinking actually shuts down the coordination of our brain.”  Inferring that when we choose to dwell on hurtful words we cannot live out the potential we have.  That is quite sobering! You may have seen Dr. Amen on PBS or read some of his work.  He has all kinds of tips for fighting off hurtful words.  One that is easy to put into practice is “…bring your attention to the things you are grateful for in your life, your brain actually works better.”  This doctor actually looks at people’s brains and has done the research to substantiate this claim. Hmmm… “give thanks in all circumstances” seems like I’ve heard that somewhere before.  And to think… it’s for our own good!

If you have tips that help you fight off hurtful words, please share.  Your journey may help someone.