Letting a dream die doesn’t sound like something a coach would want for a client, and I don’t. Fantasies on the other hand can damage our psyche and ruin relationships. When we allow our minds to dwell on “…imagining things that are impossible…” (wikipedia) we can stifle dreams that could be realities.
The death of Tina’s prince charming was the death of a fantasy – a fantasy she’d entertained since childhood. While I encourage young women to have high standards for the man they plan to spend the rest of their lives with, the suitor is in dangerous territory if the young lady holds her prince charming fantasy as her standard. Tina had done just that.
In the process of working to forgive, Tina realized what she’d done and determined that she wanted to love Tim for who he was, and let go of the fantasy. She longed to be loved for who she was, so why had she not realized that he wanted and deserved the same? The death of her idealized prince charming freed her to love Tim more deeply than ever! Their dreams of a wonderful life together would now be possible.
Tim was suddenly let go from his job. He was a big wig – a top performer in the nation, but as happens all too often, he was cut when his company was bought out. The loss of a job can be devastating to a relationship but for them, it only caused a bump in the road.
Tim needed (or thought he needed) a pity party and a crutch. Tina handled the pity party pretty well – she even joined him at the party, but she didn’t find out about the crutch until later. Tim’s struggle with self loathing came back with a vengeance – for a few days. By the grace of God, he said, it didn’t last long.
There is more to this blog series, but I want you to know. . . . Our coaching package ended a few months ago and to this day, Tim is unemployed. To my delight, they let me know they are still doing well. They’ve had some rough spots, but I assured them they always would! 🙂