Okay – this isn’t a secret. Everyone seems to know that human touch is crucial for human development. We’ve heard this statistic: “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” —Virginia Satir – Family Therapist (1916-1988)
But did you know that human touch is crucial for relationship development and is a crucial step for saving a relationship? I’m not talking about sex or even sexual advances. I’m talking a loving kiss on the forehead, a gentle caress of the cheek, a caring back or foot rub, a knowing squeeze of the hand – you get the idea. These are things appropriate for your kids, your parents and YES your spouse. If this seems like a ridiculous suggestion, think again. It is admittedly a small step, but you have to admit, if your relationship is in a mess, it probably happened a little at a time.
So let’s give the little steps a chance!
The cool thing about this step is that it’s unlikely you’re going to get back handed – if you do, you need serious help!! The usual response when this is not your normal M.O. is a look of disbelief or bewilderment – but after a week of taming your tongue, it may be welcomed. If not. . . if it is not warmly received – not to worry. Just try again every couple of hours until it is your normal M.O.
Step #2: Make being affectionate your normal M.O.
