So much work to look like I do!
She said she was getting gas earlier that morning and a complete stranger, pumping gas next to her, looked over and said, “I hate you skinny girls!” Jessie, my hair stylist said, “I don’t know what got into me, but I actually responded. I said, “well if you were at the gym at 5:30 every morning you could look like this too””. To her surprise the lady said, “yeah, you’re right.”
Do you ever feel jealous of people who have what you want? But then you think about what it would take to get it and you feel defeated before you even begin?
Often people become so focused on the outcome that they forget about the purpose. Dreams and goals can seem overwhelming when we get zeroed in on the outcome and if we think there is only one outcome that can fulfill us we may feel trapped – and when we’re trapped, we can’t move.
Try writing down what you want from the dream or goal. If it’s ‘to be skinny’ what do you really want? If you want to be healthier so you can extend your life expectancy and enjoy a more adventuresome lifestyle with your kids, then joining a gym might not be the only way to get skinny. Maybe joining a beginning hiking group or taking a course in kayaking – these options get you exercise and move you into adventures that you will soon be sharing with your children! Sometimes we get defeated because we feel like there is only one way and we don’t like the journey so we feel trapped.
If your dream is to own your own restaurant, the payoff you want may be to have a schedule that you control and get paid to cook healthy meals. What if you find out that the zoning for your dream restaurant isn’t right and it’s a 7 year process to get re-zoning, or your financing falls through or ….. Sometimes pushing through the obstacles is the work we want to do, but sometimes there are other opportunities that will get us everything we want. For instance, you may find much less stress in owning a catering company or a healthy food stand in the middle of the city or you might find out about a franchise with great financing options. Zeroing in on having to have an independent restaurant is fine if that is the only way to find the fulfillment you desire, but often that narrow minded path hinders rather than helps.
Determining what you really want (the deeper purpose or payoff) from the dream or goal is really the first step in moving toward it. If you’ve had one that has been on a back burner, I hope you’ll take time to write down the purpose, or payoff you’re looking for. It just may set you free if you’ve been trapped. It may look a little different than you first imagined, but the payoff may be even better!
