Tim and Tina’s story is told with their permission. Names have been changed to protect their privacy, however, if you are seriously considering coaching they would be happy to talk to you about their experience. While this blog is intended to inspire you to do whatever it takes to get your marriage healthy, not to “sell” coaching, I am delighted to help people who are ready to do the work.
If you would like to speak with Tim and/or Tina, contact me and I will facilitate your connection.
For those of you who want more details on Tim and Tina’s Turnaround here is a little mini blog. Let’s call it #1A 🙂
Creating a Vision for what you would like your marriage to look like is one of the first steps in Marriage Coaching.
Tim and Tina’s vision was pretty typical but to them seemed like a fairy tale. They were aware of some couples who lived as best friends and lovers, but them? Yeah – that seemed like a fairytale!
Although, they were pretty clear on what they would like out of life and out of marriage, we used a couple of assessments to make sure they were thinking broadly enough and were accurately articulating what they really wanted. This was the first of the “communication” work we did. As time went on, they learned the importance of making sure their words were matching up with what they were thinking.
Vision Casting gave them some goals to work towards, but after we were clear on what they wanted, we put that little document away for a while. We pulled it out occasionally, but focusing on it too much could have been paralyzing – they had such a long long way to go! Instead, week by week, I helped them come up with small steps that would eventually lead to the life they longed to live together. If an athlete only focuses on the triathlon – he will always be discouraged and defeated. It’s when he focuses on the work -the hard core training week by week, that he can expect to reach his goal. So we began the process and soon Tim and Tina could could see their marriage muscles beginning to grow.
The Action Steps they came up with and followed through on – on a weekly basis put them on the road to success. These steps came directly from their mouths. I would listen for what they “said” they wanted or needed to do and ask them if they would like to commit to it? If they said yes, it became one of their ACTION STEPS. I will share some of them along the way.